he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
