ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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