The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
