dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
