Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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