Already got asked if we're dating
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize