well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i think i have two assholes
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
