if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
