TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
