home. puking in laundry basket.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
