just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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