omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
