Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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