dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
