When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
