are you still at the devil's house?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
