playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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