so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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