I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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