Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
