NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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