Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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