I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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