dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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