Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You smell like stripper and shame
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
