She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
