I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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