god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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