Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
