We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
