chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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