The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
