just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
