you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
