please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
even my farts smell like vagina
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I touched a dick in church today
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
