I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We had sex on a dog bed..
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
