Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
