Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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