why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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