Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
