I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
