I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize