just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I AM VODKA MAN
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
