Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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