my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I wish i was in the wii world.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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