so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
