3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
