She said her name was "party"
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
