YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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