Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
