Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
