nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
