This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
