So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
only if we run a train.
done.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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