ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
