im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
