he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
