My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
