ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
