i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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