Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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